


Let's Talk About Sex

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: New York, New York [4]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 18:42:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6670267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So I hear.  And I mean that literally.  I do have ears."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Talk About Sex

“So today is really the day?” 

Leo turned on his side to look at his wife, who was resting on her back. It was a rainy summer Saturday, hardly 7a.m. He would be up soon to walk the dog.

“We should have done it months ago Leo…probably last year. Tim is 14 and Charlie will be 13 in less than a month. Kids do things these days; don’t pretend that you don’t watch _60_ _Minutes_.”

“I want to pretend not to have this conversation Claudia Jean. What if we find out they are sexually active?”

“I truly think they would tell us something like that. We have a good relationship with our kids.”

“Did you tell your father?” Leo asked.

CJ was quiet for a moment. She cringed thinking about washing Doug’s Beetle for a week just so he wouldn’t. Tal Cregg would have had two birds and a gallstone. And she was 18. The thought that her little girl, barely a teenager, might be doing anything was enough to make her queasy. CJ was almost 50 years old; she didn’t know if she could handle this.

“Promise me something Leo.” She said.

“Yeah.”

“If you find out Tim is doing something you will not pat him on the back. Remember the little girl involved…think of her as you would Charlie.”

“I won't pat him on the back. Maybe he is into older women.”

“Don’t.” she sat up on her elbows. “You're doing it already. I don’t want you to go in there and give him sex lessons. Warn him against it.”

“Boys are different from girls.” Leo reasoned.

“Who do you think they are fucking Leo? This is not _The Graduate_ ; Tim is 14. I have no doubt he has done some things, but you are to discourage sex.”

“I know; I have my part under control. Are you ready to put the fear of God into Charlie?”

“I don’t know. It might be best to start with what she already knows.”

“She’s a smart kid.” Leo replied. “I bet she knows more than me, between MTV and those magazines.”

“You know plenty Mr. Vice-President. I think you may learn something new everyday.”

“I have a good teacher. She gives lots of extra credit.”

CJ laughed, looping her arms around him and pulling him down on her. The McGarrys still enjoyed an active sex life. Learning, in what can only be described as CJ’s middle age and Leo’s twilight years, that sexual intercourse (the actual act), was just an ingredient in a pretty large recipe. While getting older had a lot more cons than pros, there was still plenty to be joyful about.

Leo opened CJ’s lips with his tongue, kissing her thoroughly. She ran her hands down his back as she spread her thighs to pull him closer. He was semi-erect, who knew if he would be more and who cared?

“You know what?” CJ whispered when he freed her mouth.

“What baby?”

“Today is going to suck.”

“I concur. But this morning is just fine.”

“It could be better.”

Leo smiled. He slid his body under the bed sheets and woke his wife up in the best way. Then he walked the dog.

* * *

“OK, ready?” CJ asked.

“Yeah. We do it, compare notes, and move on.”

“Yeah. Remember, no encouraging.”

“You remember not to be too much of a friend to Charlie. Be firm.”

“I am not too much of a friend!” she exclaimed.

“Claudia Jean, are we going to do this or bicker?” Leo asked.

“Do it.” She muttered. She took a deep breath.

Leo clasped her hand, kissing it.

“We can do this. I love you baby.”

“I love you too. Let’s go.”

They walked out of their bedroom. Standing in the hallway for a few moments, they looked at each other. Two parents, two doors, and one conversation.

* * *

“Timothy, I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“Uh huh.”

The teenager turned off his computer, swinging around in his leather desk chair. Leo took a good look around the room, realizing he never had before. There were posters on the wall for _Heavenly Creatures_ , _The Empire Strikes Back_ , _Igby Goes Down_ , and the remake of _Shaft_. Could four movies be any different? The room was immaculate; all the CDs, books, and anything else stackable were neatly done so. The only thing littering the hard wood floor was a tee shirt under the windowsill. A song Leo did not recognized played from the XM radio. The display said Jimmy Eat World. Their poster was in the room too.

“What’s up?” Tim asked.

“How’s debate camp?” Leo asked.

Leo couldn’t help but smile thinking about the Saybrook Institute and the 48-hour prep for one debate. Tim was just three months old, but CJ refused to be away from him for that long. There was a great picture in Leo’s study of his infant son sleeping on the chest of the leader of the free world.

“It’s great. On Monday, we are doing the Monroe Doctrine. I am against and you're right dad, a great debater is best at convincing when he has to go against his convictions. Can I read my speech for you?”

“Yeah, of course. Wait, later OK? I need to talk to you.”

“OK.”

“You meeting people there?” Leo asked.

“Sure. Kyle Chambers is nice; he helped me some with the speech. Luke from school is there. Jake and I are debating on Monday.”

“I meant girls Tim.”

“Oh, why didn’t you say? Sure. Um, there is Edwina and Kate mostly.”

“Is one of them your girlfriend?”

Tim looked at his father. He had never seen him look so uncomfortable in his life. _Better_ _ease his fears before he pops a blood vessel_ , Tim thought.

“Is this the talk dad?” he asked.

Leo exhaled, seeming to relax.

“Yeah, did I look uncomfortable?”

“A bit. I don’t have a girlfriend. Girls like me, I guess, and I have some female friends.”

He was a star soccer player and excellent student at The Browning School. Leo really had no doubt he was beating them off with a stick.

“Well good. It is normal for a kid your age to explore…don’t want to settle down too early.”

“Nope.”

“Well, um, damn. You have to know this is hard for me. My father never had this talk with me. Have you ever had sex Timothy?”

“No.”

“When I say sex, I also mean oral sex.” Leo said.

“Yes.” Tim replied.

“Yes to oral sex?”

Tim blushed profusely, staring down at his bare feet.

“Dad, this is embarrassing.”

“Yeah, but necessary. You’ve had oral sex?”

“Yes. I don’t have to go into details, do I?”

“Of course not. Tim, STDs are not just transmitted through intercourse. They can be contracted through oral sex too.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t be doing this at all, though God knows the pressure you must be under. I know kids your age hook up…or whatever you call it now.”

“It’s still hooking up. I’ll tell you dad, I have had oral sex. I'm not going to have real sex, and I don’t go around hooking up with random people. I'm into my own stuff; I don’t need to do that.”

Leo sighed relief again.

“Still, I want to talk to you about condoms.”

“Can't we just lie to mom and say we did?” Tim asked.

“I wish.” Leo pulled the Trojan from his pocket. “This is a condom.”

“Where did you get that? You and mom don’t use them, do you?”

“No. I had to buy this from a drug store. It is embarrassing as hell for a 70 year old man; even more embarrassing than this conversation.”

Leo pulled the condom from the wrapper and ran it up his arm like a shirtsleeve. Tim’s hazel eyes went wide.

“Holy moley.” He muttered.

“Yeah. So when your time comes, don’t try to BS the girl with the 'it doesn’t fit' routine. They stretch and rarely break. Don’t you ever have sex without one. They are 99% effective when used correctly. More than half of all new HIV cases are kids your age who were too stupid or too cool to protect themselves.”

“Yeah. We got some from the free clinic near Christopher Street once. I know how they work…I practiced.”

“Good. Are you really not thinking about sex?”

“Don’t be silly, of course I am. I'm just not…I'm too young dad.”

“Yeah. Has it been offered?”

“Sure. So have pot, Coke, beer, cigarettes, and stuff we’re not going to talk about. Mom already had that conversation with me when we moved here 2 years ago. As clichéd as it sounds, I just decline.”

“OK. Well I guess…oh, should we talk about masturbation?”

“Dad!” Tim held up his hands and laughed. “We are not talking about that, sorry. How about I do it, you know I do it, and the rest is too weird.”

“You're right. I just want to tell you that sex, making love, is a beautiful thing when you're mature and you're with a woman you love. It is the best experience in the world then.”

“So I hear; and I mean that literally. I have ears.”

Leo smirked. He reached out to ruffle his son’s thick reddish brown hair and Tim laughed. Then Leo laughed.

“You two go at it like bunnies.” Tim said.

“Shut up.”

“Seriously dad, I should aspire to that…I should be so lucky.”

They both laughed again.

“Stop, mom thinks we’re having a serious conversation. If she hears laughter she’ll think I am encouraging you to be a manwhore.”

Tim couldn’t stop laughing.

“Manwhore, oh that is good dad.”

Leo smiled, standing.

“OK kid, the torture is over. I just need you to know that you can always talk to me about these things when the time comes. It may be awkward, no it will be awkward, but your safety and happiness are my number one priority. Your mom’s too. Are we clear?”

“Yeah dad, thanks. You think we can go over that speech later?” Tim asked.

“We’ll make time after dinner.”

* * *

“Charlie, we need to talk.”

_Stay calm Claudia_ , she said to herself, _stay strong_. _You can do this; how hard can it really be_? Charlie looked up from her cell phone conversation.

“OK mom, hold that thought.” She went back to the phone. “We’ll just go tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to have the men in black so just Starbucks and maybe the Manhattan mall. Uh huh, right on. Gotta go, call you later.”

She clicked the phone off and sat it on the nightstand.

“That thing can take photos, film movies, and has conference call.” She said. “Cool, huh? Tomorrow Georgia, Ally, and I are going to buy Variety and sip at Starbucks by CCNY. What’s up mom?”

CJ sat down on the bed. Charlie was the exact opposite of her brother. Her bedroom looked as if a Class 3 hurricane swept through. There were clothes everywhere, including a pair of boxer shorts over her computer monitor. She had her movie posters too: _Amelie_ , _Flashdance_ , _The Stepford Wives_ , _Annie Hall_ , and _Sense and Sensibility_. She had band posters too, and pictures of female athletes ripped from magazines. Family and friends in photographs covered her mirrors and bulletin board, and amongst the rubble of her unmade bed were too many CDs and accessories to count.

The 12 year old sat on her floor painting her toenails as her mother made room for herself on the bed. An ancient Morrissey song played from the stereo.

“Are you having sex?” CJ asked.

That’s it, get right to it. There was no need to beat around the bush. Charlie looked at her with wide eyes.

“No mom, God, what would give you that idea?”

“I was not accusing you sweetie, I was just asking. Its time we had that talk.”

“Oh, _that_ talk. OK, I'm ready. What do you want to know?”

“When I say sex I mean oral sex too.” CJ said.

“Oh, well I've had oral sex.”

“Charlotte!”

“What? I think this might go better if I don’t lie.”

‘Yeah, it…” CJ lost her train of thought. Oh God, Charlie had oral sex. She was definitely going to be sick.

“It was DJ, is DJ. We don’t make a habit of it and we won't. I already told him that.”

“I told your father you weren’t doing anything in here.” CJ was mortified.

“It’s never been here. Usually at his house, and once at Diana Higgins’ birthday party. To be sure I got oral sex too…I refused unless I did.”

“Don’t talk like that!” her mother exclaimed. “Don’t you dare take this lightly, like it is a game. Stop painting your damn toenails and look at me.”

Charlie did as her mother asked.

“You are just a little girl. What are you doing?”

“I didn’t take it lightly mom, I swear. We were experimenting…our bodies are changing and we reacted to it. You know it too or you wouldn’t be having this conversation with me.”

CJ ran her fingers through her hair. OK, she had to get a grip.

“Tell me what you’ve done. Let’s start with that.”

“Oral sex a couple of times. Hooking up and stuff.”

“Define ‘and stuff’.”

“Mom, what did you do when you were a teenager? The baseball rules still apply.”

“How many boys?” CJ asked.

“One.” Charlie answered in an incredulous tone. “DJ is my boyfriend…I don’t go around blowing nameless, faceless people.”

“I didn’t know he was your boyfriend now. I thought you were still just friends.”

“I thought you knew…he practically lives here. We talked about it, sex, and we are waiting until we’re older and more mature. I'm not ready.”

“Is he? Is he pressuring you?”

Charlie shook her head.

“No. He asked, I answered. He asked when and I said I didn’t know. If he doesn’t like my answers, he knows where the door is. I showed him in case he forgot.”

CJ nodded.

“STDs can be transmitted through oral sex Charlie. I need you to stop doing that.”

“OK. Mom, it’s not like I do it, anything, all the time. A couple of spontaneous occasions. Sex is not on my agenda. I am too young for that.”

“Yeah. What about DJ? And your other friends, are they engaging in questionable sexual activity?”

“Some of them are. But DJ is OK…don’t be mad at him. He's just a 14-year-old boy seeing where the line is. I told him no, and he accepted it. You gotta know mom, hooking up is real life.”

“I don’t have to like it.” CJ replied. “I am here to discourage it. Charlie, this is scary for me. Do you understand that?”

“Yes. Mom, I promise, when I'm ready I'm going to talk to you.”

“You are?”

“Sure. I am going to need to see the gynecologist, talk about birth control options, condoms or whatever. Who else would I talk to?”

“Your friends.” CJ said.

Charlie smirked.

“No, I talk to them about the good stuff. I talk to you about the important stuff. You're the one with the experience…those geeks are dumber than me. Some of them have never even read _The Joy of Sex_.”

CJ’s mind was blown. Leo was right…their little girl knew too much. When CJ was 12, everyone her age was dumb. They still played with Barbies and read Nancy Drew mysteries. Sex was something alluded to and giggled about…a distant drama that you did not concern yourself with.

“Lets talk about condoms.” She said.

“OK.”

CJ took out a Trojan.

“This is a condom Charlie. Never, ever have sex without one of these. While they prevent pregnancy, they are also 98.9% effective in preventing the spread of HIV. You know that I work for Action AIDS, I know what I'm talking about. Girls your age, engaging in grown up behavior, are getting AIDS. They are dying before going on the prom, or college, or falling in love. AIDS Charlie. No cure, ugly death, broken dreams. AIDS. If he tells you these don’t fit, or they’re uncomfortable, he is a lying son of a bitch.”

CJ tore open the package and pulled the condom over her foot like a sock. It finally ripped when it got past her ankle.

“If he is the size of my foot, you may not want to deal with him anyway.”

“I was thinking the same thing. That was pretty cool mom.”

“Thank you. Don’t believe the lines like its better without one, or ‘I’ll pull out I swear’, or any of that BS. Always double check that he is wearing it before you have sex. Some men are deceptive.”

Charlie nodded.

“It is important that you protect yourself sweetie. Many STDS, all really, are 100% preventable. Carry condoms, it is your responsibility too. Many, many years from now when you have sex.”

“I know mom.” Charlie replied laughing.

“Good. I want to reiterate that oral sex is not something to run around doing all willy-nilly. It won't make you popular, or cool…it will make something you do not want to be.”

“A slut, is that what you were going to say? I love DJ mom, like you love daddy. You two do it all the time.”

“We’re grownups honey. Married people who know our bodies and ourselves as well as we know each other. You can't, well you shouldn’t, offer your love to someone until you are completely comfortable. Sex the act, that’s easy honey. Dogs, monkeys, and tree frogs can do it. But the complications of sex…we don’t have enough time.”

“Give me an idea.”

“You wonder if sex means love. There are a million questions and three answers. It changes you, your friends, him…I really don’t know where to begin. Tears, fears, and doubts. Someone your age should never have to deal with that. There is plenty of time for complications in your life. Please don't bring them upon yourself unnecessarily.”

“OK. What about masturbation? Any thoughts?”

CJ laughed. She could not help it. She fell over on the bed laughing. Charlie was not moved.

“I'm serious mom.”

“I know sweetie.” CJ sat up. “I don't know. It is certainly the best way to get to know your body. You are changing, and you have urges and desires you didn’t have even a year ago. There is nothing to be ashamed of about touching yourself; it’s not a crime. They try to make women feel bad about it.”

“Do you do it?”

“No comment.”

“Mom!” Charlie exclaimed.

“I am not saying another word about that. Do what makes you feel comfortable Charlie, and always remember that you can talk to me. I'm not here to judge you, or make you feel bad about wrong choices and decisions, I am here to keep you safe as long as I can. Give me a hug.”

Charlie stood and hugged her mother. CJ kissed her face. She really needed a stiff drink.

“I'm glad we had this talk.”

“Me too.” Charlie replied. “You're not going to tell daddy are you? About the oral sex thing?”

“No. When you talk to me, it’s only to me. But think about that sweetie…why do things you want to hide from us?”

“Yeah. Thanks mom.”

“You're welcome. Wanna watch a movie later?”

“ _Raising Helen_?”

“Sure.”

* * *

“Goodnight daddy.”

Charlie sat on the couch watching rugby. Leo leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

“Goodnight pumpkin. Don’t stay up too late.”

“I won't. Love you.”

“I love you too.”

He walked to his bedroom with the dog in tow.

“Close the door Leo.” CJ said once he was inside.

He did, sitting on the edge of the bed. He began to undress.

“Was it excruciating?” he asked.

“Yes. Charlie’s OK though…she knows all she needs to.”

“She’s not doing anything, is she?”

“No, not really.” She felt guilty for lying but would get over it. “Second base I guess you would call it.”

“Damn! It’s that DJ…”

“Stop it. She’s fine Leo. She told me that she has no intention of keeping me out of the loop. I trust her.”

‘Tim’s OK too. He doesn’t have a girlfriend and he said sex is not something he thinks about doing right now. He said he is too young.”

“So did Charlie. She did comment that we do it a lot.”

“Oh God, so did Tim.” Leo replied. “Bunnies, I believed he compared us to. I explained that sex with someone you are madly in love with is magnificent.”

He dressed in pajamas and slid under the coolness of the sheets. Winston was right beside him as Leo picked up the John Irving novel from the nightstand.

“I told Charlie the same thing. I think today was successful, if excruciating.”

“Agreed.”

CJ put on cold cream before joining Leo in bed. She stared at the ceiling.

“You're keeping something from me Claudia Jean.” He said.

“Of course I am, but so are you so we’re even.”

“You’d tell me if Charlie…”

“She is not Leo, I swear. We made it through it; let’s not discuss it anymore. Just relax.”

“Yeah. You going straight to sleep baby?”

“You have something else in mind?” she asked.

“It will definitely require the removal of some clothing.”

CJ pulled the sleep shirt over her head.

“Do we have too much sex?” she asked as his eyes roamed over her naked body.

“Don't be silly.” Leo’s fingers traced around her navel. “Anyway, I am not going to touch you tonight.”

He abruptly pulled his hand away. CJ drew his face close.

“Not even a kiss?” she asked.

Leo leaned and kissed her mouth. CJ sighed.

“Enough.” He pulled away. “You know what I want Claudia Jean.”

“Talk me through it.”

“Dirty or clean?”

“What do you think? I love you Leo.”

“I love you too. Now, first we lose the covers…”


End file.
